Bad Austen by Peter Archer

Author:Peter Archer [Archer, Peter; Lawler, Jennifer]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 978-1-4405-2944-3
Publisher: F+W Media
Published: 2011-09-01T04:00:00+00:00

The Eldest, the Youngest & Matchmaker.com

TAMI ABSI

Elizabeth drew her favorite china teacup from her lips and rested it on the saucer. The delicate plate protected the articles on her drawing table: a quill pen, some ivory stationary, and a computer.

She searched for Matchmaker.com and scrolled through the competition first. The titles before the ladies’ names were impressive, but a reader learned little else past the maidens’ monikers. The comments posted revealed the ladies to be empty-headed with nothing worth saying. Elizabeth imagined those women received several invitations from equally unimpressive suitors, no less than knights.

Lydia sauntered into the room, hoping to search for the latest fashions, for which Elizabeth showed perfect unconcern. When Lydia saw the screen, she stopped dead and grew pale. “My dear sister, why are you looking at the women?” she said with an indelicate amount of concern. “Surely, you’re not indeed.” Her voice trailed off, too horrified to speak of it.

Elizabeth hid an impudent grin. “Why, no, not that. I wanted to see with whom I might compete before profiling.”

“You haven’t profiled? You are almost twenty-one. Do you not fear spinsterhood?” gasped Lydia. “Let me help you. There is no reason to scroll and look at each and every one of them. See? Thus, you order the women by rank, inheritance, numbers of servants, and the orderliness of their homes. With the last category, I suppose the webmasters were want of a rank for the lower-class women with no real basis for breeding.”

Elizabeth commandeered the mouse. “The men, my dear Lydia, can they be thus arrayed?”

“Certainly, but with the men, their pictures speak volumes, and only the eye can categorize them to my liking,” Lydia stated while smoothing her best, silken gown.

“Ah,” Elizabeth sighed. “You are the youngest. Is it proper for you to be cataloging men? Prudence dictates you should be the last to marry.”

Lydia pulled powder from her purse and dabbed her forehead. “I could not wait for all four of you, especially at your pace. The light is good this time of the evening, and with a lit candle beside the monitor, you’ll take a fine profile picture. Let me show you how to take a romantic-looking portrait.”

In the midst of her comments, she pushed up her corset and forced her sleeves a bit farther down her shoulders. Elizabeth could hear stitches popping, and she knew Mother would be annoyed.

After Elizabeth had profiled for the first time and after Lydia updated her picture, Elizabeth shared another concern. She said, “There is so much more about a man than one can assess through these pages.”

“How so, sister?” Lydia challenged.

“What of the way he moves, especially on the dance floor? How will he interview me as we stroll across the park to visit the neighbors? Is there no way to line them up according to their love for art, knowledge of music, singing, or, perhaps, tone of voice?”

DID YOU KNOW?

On March 23, 1817, five days after laying aside the manuscript of Sanditon for good, Jane

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.